My First Furniture Show Sales Pitch: Wipeable Benches

Wipeable ottomanWhen I started my furniture line, I never had any intention of actually leaving my house and presenting it to the world myself. My biggest fears were,”What if people don’t like it? What if they sit on it and it breaks?” Being “professional” was also a huge concern of mine. I am not a serious person. I think life is a wonderful silly mess — there’s no need to cry over it. I pondered, “What if I am a terrible salesperson, never sell anything and I have to flip burgers for a living?”

I finally got up the courage to exhibit after telling myself that an artist can not financially survive if they don’t show their work. I decided that the National Furniture show in Vegas sounded like a good place to try my hand at selling to furniture store buyers. The first hour of my first time exhibitor experience went smoothly. Everyone gave my furniture glowing compliments. One person called my line “eye candy,” but I felt I was personally boring and unmemorable. I headed over to the bar. Did you know that the Vegas furniture show serves cocktails…starting at 9 am? After taking advantage of that and enjoying a couple of drinks, I decided to share my secret “mission” for my furniture line.

A group of four older, sophisticated women — good potential clients — came by. I decided to tell them my new mission:

“I want to sell my benches to strip clubs across America. Christian, my loving and faithful husband, will drive a van through each state, pimping my wares (while never sneaking a peek at any action, of course!). I will be at home tending to our three wonderful children.”

The women looked a bit horrified. I showed them how many of my pieces are completely wipeable. “You could do a few unmentionable things on these and they’d still look shiny and clean,” I exclaimed. “You aren’t dead yet. You might need a little wipeable furniture in your own lives!”

By this time the women were hooting and giggling. One of them bought three pieces for her store in Florida. I can only imagine her sales pitch to potential customers!

I like to share this story so that you know that if you order your own, one-of-a kind wipeable material bench or ottoman from me, I won’t pass any judgement. Instead, I’ll be wondering if my mission is on its way to being accomplished!